Sometimes I Can't Breathe

Somedays when I'm feeling a bit more stressed than usual,

I'd find myself consciously breathing.

Breathing is supposed to be an involuntary action taken by your body.

I would try to take in deep breath, but it doesn't seem to 'catch'

Like when you take in a large breath and you feel like that's a full breath.

So I get frustrated and try again

Try to breathe deeply

Sometimes it takes 4 or 5 consecutive breaths for it to 'catch' once.

When I get even stressed and try to focus on the breathing,

The OCD inside me insists on achieving full breaths

My brain also tries to help by making me yawn.

My lungs say "too much carbon dioxide is lost! we must stop her!"

My airways are constricted to reduce carbon dioxide loss'

I feel a lump in my throat and my airways feel constricted

I try even harder to breathe

They get even more constricted

It just feels horrible.

So this is how anxiety shows itself to me. I'm not sure whether it's bad enough to call it an attack, because sometimes this happens for a few days straight, sometimes it just comes and goes within a few hours.

The doctor has prescribed me an inhaler and ventolin tablets, but the tablets react horribly in my body because I have side effects like insomnia and palpitations, and though the inhaler helps me 'catch' my breath for the next 5 minutes sometimes, the other times it has absolutely no effect and sometimes makes it worse. So I'm turning to non-medication stuff to help.

I've come up with some things I can do to distract myself and also relax my body at the same time. Hope these help.

Short (0-5 minutes)
1. Blow bubbles
2. Breathing exercises
3. S.A.M (App, Android | iOS)
4. Crossword puzzle/colour
5. Drink water
6. Eat nice things (healthy)
7. Listen to Matt Kearny’s Breathe In Breathe Out or 'Breathe In Breathe Out' playlist

8. Rain sounds (or any other white noise you'd prefer).

9. Ruffle my brother's head (in your case, any younger sibling who doesn't mind and has nice soft hair, or a furry pet).

10. Make lists. Like this one.

11. List down what’s stressing me and what makes me happy

12. Do some random interactive stuff on websites - Drawing abstract stuff http://weavesilk.com/ https://29a.ch/sandbox/2011/neonflames/

13. Fold paper stars/origami

14. Play with a rubix cube or anything hands-on

15. Light a candle (scented or non-scented)

16. Use essential oils (lemongrass is my favourite)
17. Have a sweet, good if it's a herbal one.

Medium (5-15 minutes)

1. Tidy desk/room/closet/shelf - this is to reassure your mind that you have control over some things.

2. Shower.