4/15/2018 12:30:00 am

it's been awhile

It's been awhile since my last post six months ago, and when I just recently logged back on I had this urge to revamp my blog, maybe change the design and implement a fresh name that better describes the current state of my life and I. But then the logical part of myself knows that I won't be able to maintain it, so let's just keep it like this in the meantime.

I have tried drafting a few posts, mostly reflective ones on how far I've come since last year, and between school, life and everything in between, the lack of time and words to accurately piece together what I am trying to express, as well as the distractions and commitments, these drafts never actually got completed and published. And though these drafts are opened in the tabs, I don't think I want to add on to them or make any amendments because it's like trying to turn back time and put myself in the shoes of me two months ago, trying to hop into that train of thought and feel the emotions I had experienced at that point in time the draft was spun out. It's impossible so I won't force myself to.

Anyways, instead of trying to recap how things have changed since last year and spending the bulk of the sliver of time I am sacrificing from my sleep on it, let's shift our gears in the other direction instead- prospective, instead of reflective (hope I'm using these terms accurately).

Recently, I have been spurred and motivated to be more disciplined in my studies, because I have found a goal, a direction I see myself in the next few years, somewhere I hope I will land up in. And this dream is the reason I broke out of the repetitive bore of school life, and reduced not-really-meaningful nor motivated after-school hours and weekends that were once unproductive and sian.

The power of this dream is so strong, that, minimally, even while procrastinating, if the thought of this dream that I have pops up, I will be motivated to put down my phone and start planning on the tasks I need to complete this week. The excitement of the future ahead there fuels my motivation to work hard and persevere.

have dreams. they become the driving force to work hard, and add colour to your life.

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